The Four Tendencies — 15 minute summary

Visual Representation of the Four Tendencies
  • Upholders: I love routines, and people think I’m extremely disciplined.
  • Questioners: I love researching, and people sometimes say that I ask “Why?” too much.
  • Obligers: I put others ahead of me, and I value harmony in relationships.
  • Rebels: I value freedom and choice; I do what I want to do, when I want to do it.
  1. Strengths and Weaknesses
  2. How to Work with Yourself as that Tendency
  3. How to Work with Someone of that Tendency


Strengths and Weaknesses of Upholders

Working with Yourself as an Upholder

Working with an Upholder


Strengths and Weaknesses of Questioners

Working with Yourself as a Questioner

Working with a Questioner


Strengths and Weaknesses of Obligers

Working with Yourself as an Obliger

  • Deadlines to someone else whose opinion you care about
  • Monitoring via an app or a person (like a paid coach)
  • Serving as a role model to those around you
  • Thinking of what your future-self would expect of your current-self
  • Spending someone else’s money for a class/course (rather than your own money)
  • Getting an accountability partner (like a gym buddy or a reading buddy)

Working with an Obliger


Strengths and Weaknesses of Rebels

Working with Yourself as a Rebel

Working with a Rebel

How I’ve Applied the Four Tendencies to My Life

Example 1: Mom, Upholder

Example 2: Obliger Friends

Example 3: Questioner Colleagues

Example 4: Rebel Friends


  1. Upholder-Questioner
  2. Upholder-Obliger
  3. Obliger-Upholder
  4. Obliger-Rebel
  5. Questioner-Upholder
  6. Questioner-Rebel
  7. Rebel-Obliger
  8. Rebel-Questioner

Before you go…




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Alex Chen

Alex Chen

Passionate about self-cultivation, happiness, and sharing wisdom.

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